Thanks to reader Cleo for suggesting we talk about date timing.
So you had your awesome first date. Well done! You are now itching to press face some more. What do you do now? How long do you wait?
When planning your followup, the implicit message is that the chosen interval will be a model for the future. That means, you are (on some level) staking out the distance between all your future dates. Shorter time = more keenness.
Second date timing guide
If date number two occurs:
- the next day – you are psychotic.
- after 1-2 days – you are either desperate, or sending a very intense signal that you can’t get enough of this person.
- after 3-4 days – keen, but fine. It’s extremely likely you’re not dating anyone else though, whatever that might mean in the circumstances.
- after 5-7 days – probably typical in NYC.
- after a full week or more – you are almost certainly parallel-dating (that’s a post in itself) and/or this person is pretty far down your priority list.
Note, these numbers will be skewed if your job or hobby blows away your free time; this is pretty common (I’m looking at you, lawyers).
Notice that if (for example) the girl you are after is parallel-dating four guys, and you have no other dates lined up, you may well find yourself frustrated.
Day of the week? How could that matter?
Let’s talk for a minute about Scrabble.
You know how on the Scrabble board, it has DOUBLE WORD and TRIPLE WORD written on some squares? That’s how you should look at your calendar.
Friday = DOUBLE WORD
It’s a weekend night! No work tomorrow.
But, you only just got off work at 6pm – so time will be tight and you may still be stressed.
Saturday = TRIPLE WORD
The weekend in its full glory; the whole day to yourself. Also, what you do at night may affect your Sunday morning.
These are the valuable and coveted slots. Friday is worth more than a weekday, and Saturday is worth more than that. Don’t ask for someone’s Fri/Sat lightly, and be mindful to whom you give yours away.
Finally, though this won’t normally apply to your second date, you should definitely be aware of the following equation:
date-at-home + DOUBLE or TRIPLE WORD == BOW CHICKA WOW
And by BOW CHICKA WOW, I mean penetrative sexual intercourse.